Learning Curve

Being a first time mom.. I have found that I have a lot to learn, and a lot to accept in my new life.
So far, a few things I have learned:

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  A “quick shower” often results in only one armpit getting shaved.


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  A “quick shower” also often results in shampoo not thoroughly rinsed out, if shampooing is even remembered.


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  Drying off after said shower is done at lightening pace, and I’m sure if filmed I would only be a blur.


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  Lotion only goes in the necessary quick spots, which has left my hands and legs awfully dry some days.


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  Putting on makeup should not be done quickly in low lighting. Either take the time to do it, or don’t do it at all… trust me.


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  Working out has to be defined some days by the constant lifting of baby, running to and fro trying to get things done during 5 minute baby catnaps, and getting up and down from a sitting position because baby squeaks every few seconds.


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  If I make it to the treadmill, I have learned to work out in 5 minute increments. It adds up right?


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  Grocery shopping sans baby must be done with purpose and not leisure usually. That’s been a hard one for me.. I love to grocery shop. Now I am buying necessities, and quickly.


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  I often forget necessary ingredients for recipes I plan to make. Like bananas for banana bread, chicken for fried chicken.. things like that.


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  Sleep is only done in few hour increments, if at all. That’s just a fact, it sucks, but I had to get over it. Sometimes those middle of the night feedings and changings of baby are the best ‘quiet’ bonding time ever, and once I can see straight and the sleep leaves me awake enough to do my job, I love every moment.


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  Eating is done grazing style. I should not keep M&Ms and peanuts around, or Cheetos. They are too easy, and evil for my post pregnancy body.


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  Feeding baby can be meditative and relaxing. Until he swallows an air bubble, gets mad, and tries to skin me alive with his tiny baby talons.


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  Everything that used to take me 5 minutes to accomplish, now takes me 30.


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  Talking on the phone is impossible.


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  Babies are psychic. He knows exactly when to fuss (see phone talking point above), but also know exactly when to smile to warm me up again after fussing.


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  Google is not my friend when it comes to health concerns about baby. Call the pediatrician.


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  Baby will not decide to sit and eat an entire bottle until I am in a rush and assume he only wants a ‘snack’.


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  After trying all morning to get baby to nap, once he does, I miss him and wish he was awake.


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  I am learning the intensity of the definition of “Guardian”. Do not mess with my baby, or I will turn into the most vicious mama bear imaginable.


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  I had absolutely no idea how much love I could feel in life, until now.


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  I also had absolutely no idea that I could survive quite well on little sleep, hydration or nutrition.


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  Taking pictures is a new obsession, I’m terrified of missing moments. I’m not sure baby recognizes me without a camera in front of my face. I’m learning to put it down, and keep the moments in my mind instead of on digital ‘film’.


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  A full REM cycle is on average 118 minutes. If I get at least that much sleep in a row between feedings, I feel like I’m accomplishing something.


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  Most any task in life can be done with one hand. Maybe not perfect, but it can be done.


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  It took me almost 3 hours to type this..
  And that’s ok.

Just a little longer..

Dear Jameson,

Some people have already asked me what my favorite thing about being a mother is.. I never know how to answer that. There's so much.. the unbelievable love I never thought was possible, your smile.. your angelic perfection.. the amazing feeling of being needed so much, blessed that you chose me as your mommy. But I think today, my favorite part of being a mother is being able to rock you. I know that sounds simple, and it is.. but it's beautiful.

When I rock you and you drift off to sleep, the entire universe around me stops. Just for you and me!

With my arms around you holding you safe, my lips on your tiny forehead giving you kisses, my nose buried into your feather hair, drowning in your sweet baby Jameson smell.. nothing is better.

I hum to you the whole time. I make up the songs, they just come to me. They're created for you I guess, somewhere in my mind.. little songs for little tiny you.

Your chest and belly against mine, your legs folded up like a little frog.. feeling your breath, hearing your little angel sighs.. I think this is what heaven must feel like.

Sometimes Daddy tells me that you're asleep, and why don't I put you to bed.. I don't think he can understand this little moment sometimes, and that's ok. So I just tell him, "Just a little longer.."

Just a little longer.. just a little longer..

Love, Mommy

Dear Jameson,

I can't believe I haven't written to you in 3 weeks! You are so amazing, and every moment with you is wonderful, but it just flies by.. I treasure all of our moments together.

Daddy went back to work last weekend, so we've had lots of time together, and it's been beautiful!

I think last time I wrote you had started cooing a little. You have a beautiful little voice. You love to say oooooo and owoooo when you're happy, and then sometimes you babble a little bit now and say all kinds of baby words.

You really seem to be figuring yourself out, little by little. You sleep pretty darn good at night, and during the day you're so sweet and alert. You eat well.. and you seem to snack during the day, and eat in bigger chunks at night (which makes you sleep for a few hours at a time!). Not that you want to know this, but you also have your pooping on a schedule. Every morning when you're up for the day, I put you in your bouncy chair and you poop! Then I clean you up and change your clothes from your nightgown to a cute sleeper with feet and we go about our new day together.

You are smiling a LOT! Only a couple of weeks ago you'd smile, but it was hard to catch and really random, but now you smile all the time. It has to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. You are such a happy baby, and you are so cuddly.

Your silly hair still stands straight up on top like a mohawk, and it's getting lighter and lighter. It's so adorable and fits your personality.

You can be really goofy sometimes, you make the funniest faces! I actually started a photo album just of all the silly faces you make. I'll show you one day and you'll laugh I bet.

You had a visit from your grandparents Ken and Sue (Daddy's Daddy and Stepmommy), they love you so much. You had a lot of fun visiting with them, and it was when they were here that you really started smiling a ton. What a treat they had to see you so happy and smiley and talking all the time! We hope they come back soon, we had a lot of fun with them. When you get a little older we'll go visit them in Florida and you'll see the beach for the first time. One of Mommy's favorite things in the world, and I can't wait to share it with you.

I can't wait to share a LOT of things with you.. you're still so new to this world, and even though it can be scary out there sometimes, there's beautiful things going on all around us. I can't wait to show you animals like the ones painted on your walls, the mountains, lots of sunshine, even rain and snow, big trees, rivers and lakes, clouds.. oh there's so much out there just waiting for you to visit.

You have gone to a few places, mostly to restaurants where Mommy and Daddy eat, a couple of shopping trips, visits to my work and Daddy's work, doctors visits, and of course Oma and Opa's, which is really your second home. They just love you to bits!

You don't like tummy time all that much, but you love it if you're laying on someone, usually Opa or me when I'm watching TV and you're sleeping. You raise your head up a lot, you're very strong. You're also kicking and waving your arms a lot too, just figuring out that little body of yours I think.

When you talk you also like to make a clicking sound with your tongue, I almost forgot to mention that. That's kind of new for you, and of course like everything else you do, totally adorable.

Well I better go tend to you, you're up for the day and awake and getting a tiny bit fussy, just a few little squeaks, but as you've learned, we come running to grab you up and cuddle you, so that's what I'm going to do.. it's the best feeling to hold you close to me, and I really hope you let me hold on to you for as long as possible, that would really make the rest of my life pretty perfect. I hope you never go far away from me, but if you do, that you always come back to me so I can cuddle you if even just for a second during a hug hello. Times like that will come before I know it, so I better go cuddle you now, and give you hundreds of kisses just for being you.

I love you my sweetheart, you are the best thing in life.

Love, Mommy

Week 5

Dear Jameson,

I can't believe you are over one month old! You are such a good boy, and you slept really well last night. Mommy and Daddy gave you a bath, and found that if we burp you more often while you're eating, you eat a lot more, and therefore sleep lots more too! Trust me, when you get more sleep, and we get more sleep, we're all much better for it!

You are becoming more and more interested in your little world. Actually your world is kind of big for a brand new baby. You've been places like the doctor of course, out to eat with us to PF Changs, Mr. Sushi, and IHOP, and of course over to your Oma and Opa's house to visit and spend the night, to give Mommy and Daddy a little break.

Today we're going to go to where I work, so that my coworkers can meet you. I know they'll just adore you, who couldn't?

You are the most adorable baby I have ever seen, I know I'm biased, but seriously.. you're so perfect. Everything from your funny hair, your beautiful big eyes with long lashes, your little bird mouth, and the most adorable legs and tootsies ever.

We took you to Children's Hospital for an ultrasound on your hips on Monday, to make sure that everything is growing ok.. and of course, everything is perfect!

You are such a complex little being.. and at the same time so simple. You only want a few things, to eat, to poopy, to sleep, to be held and talked to.. to be loved. You have brought so much joy and love to everyone you've met, you have no idea. I know you're destined to be one of the best people that the world has ever seen. You already are!

I love you my sweet son.. so very very much. My heart is filled to the brim, and my life is not only completed by you, but so very enhanced by your presence.

Love, Mommy