13 Months!

Dear Jameson,

Hi lil bug!  You're 13 months old now (as of yesterday), and boy have you grown even in the past month!
I think you're a little taller now, you don't 'fit' under our kitchen table like you used to (your favorite place to play for some reason).
You are walking 100% of the time, and getting FAST and more agile, you even try to run!
You're communicating your needs really well, you'll actually show us what you want to do, like read a book, go downstairs to play, go outside for a walk, and even sometimes to eat and go to sleep.
You have said words like hi and made a couple animal sounds for a while, your new stuff is making elephant sounds (and you make the same sound for a whale), you make horse sounds (they sound the same as a cow), duck sounds (they have the same sound as a doggy), a sound for a snake that is more a "thhhhh", and as of last night you started saying "EIEI" to your "Old MacDonald Has a Farm" song toy.  You know how to say 'ni ni' but it kind of sounds like 'hi' so I'm not sure about that one.  You even know how to sign 'no' and you wave all the time.  You say 'light' I think too, and you've said 'mommy' a couple of times.  You also have your own language and words that I'm trying really hard to figure out.  You say this thing that sounds like 'got', and I have no idea what it means!  I'm trying to learn, just like you are.
You are very independent (most of the time) and you play more and more on your own.  You think you're hilarious, and giggle at yourself, you LOVE being the center of attention (of course!), and expect it all the time, which is ok :).
Your GI appointment went really well, they consulted with us and ordered a GI series to look at your insides.  We took you to Children's Hospital and they put you in a tiny hospital gown (it was adorable), we laid you down and fed you a bottle that had Barium in it, and you actually drank it!  Everything came out normal for that, thank goodness.  You were such a little trooper!
You have actually started eating more!  You LOVE cheese, any cheese really (other than blue cheese.. yuck you don't like that), but you love cheese slices like velveeta or even just real (not processed) cheese sliced or shredded.  You also love hummus!  You eat it by the spoonful.  You also really like meat, really thin sliced deli meat like ham and turkey.  Yesterday, your Opa was able to get you to eat an entire slice of bacon, and you had 2 slices of cheese before you went to bed.  You eat way better if we're holding you than if you are in your high chair.
We still feed you as much formula as we can, and we supplement that with a can of Pediasure a day.  I think you like the strawberry flavor the best.
You still have some reflux issues, you now take Prevacid for it.
Christmas was lovely, we need some new toyboxes!  You had so much fun having family all around you.  We've had the Christmas tree and decorations up for a while, you just love it.  You like to take the ball ornaments off the tree (luckily they are break-proof!).  Sometimes you'll hand them to me, or if the 'hook' (it's plastic and pretty big, don't worry) comes off, you do hand that part to me.  You're the best Christmas present ever!  I remember last Christmas I sort of jokingly said "next Christmas he'll be walking around" which was so hard to believe, and actually a lot of babies aren't walking quite by 12 or 13 months, but you started at 11!  You're so short, it's so cute to see you walking around like a little man.
It's New Year's Eve, but Mommy and Daddy aren't going out to celebrate.. we go to bed pretty early anymore.  We'll be here at home with you, snuggled up.  It's only 1 degree out right now, and it finally snowed a decent amount.  Brrr!  You'll go spend the night at your Oma and Opa's house tomorrow and I think we're going to go get some dinner out and rent a movie (Daddy got Inception for us to watch).
Well my darling, it's 6:30 and you're still sleeping (oh yeah! You sleep through the night almost all the time now!  Even if you wake you usually roll over and go back to sleep, or Daddy gives you a pacifier and you go back to sleep), so I'm going to go read the news and drink some coffee and get ready to play with you once you get up.
For me, every morning is like Christmas morning, I just can't WAIT to see you and play with you, you make me smile so much, and you warm my heart like no one else.  Sometimes you're a little obstinate now, and we have little tiny battles of will, but we always 'make up' in the end, you're still my little baby, who still needs his Mommy.. and I hope I'm saying that even when you're my age (ok, I promise I wont call you a baby, but I hope you still need me sometimes!).

I love you so much, bug!

Love, Mommy

walking so well!!!

You are 1!!!

Dear Jameson,

Hi baby!  Or should I say, hi toddler!
You aren't technically a baby anymore.. but always my baby of course.
You had a wonderful birthday party!!  We got lots of decorations and balloons, animals was your theme.  Oma got a cake from Child's bakery with monkeys on it!  We had a little ball pit, balloons on the floor, rubber duckies, and tons of presents.  You were so adorable when you came in and saw all the decorations.. you were SO excited and just HAPPY.  So cute.. touches my heart when you're happy.
You're walking full time now, no more crawling.
We've figured out how to feed you some purees, through your medicine syringe of all things!  Whatever works!
You have a GI appointment next Friday, and then the feeding/swallowing clinic on 1/18.  You are 29 inches long, and 20 pounds now.  Big boy!!
You talk/jabber a lot.  You say hi and wave, you say doggie, you make a few animal noises.
You are sleeping really well!  You slept all night the past two nights, you're doing that more and more often, and we're all happier for it.
I can't seriously believe you're a year old now.. it's been such a whirlwind!  So wonderful, and amazing.  It's just magical to watch you develop and change, and grow.  Every day I love you even more than I did the day before, I'm not sure how that's possible!
We're going to take you to see Santa for the first time, probably this weekend.. and then will be Christmas.  You were SO little last Christmas, this one will be way more fun for you!!
You have a lot of new toys already, so we'll see what we can figure out for Christmas and Santa.
You still just have 2 teeth, but I think the top two are coming soon.
You are so funny, and you make yourself laugh (and everyone else).  You make such funny noises, you're a ham just like your daddy.
I'm at work, but I wanted to document 'year one' really quick.  I love you so much, lil bug.. You're so sweet, and everything I could ever ask for in a little baby (toddler) and more.
Love you forever!!

Love, Mommy

Happy Birthday Eve!

I just rocked you to sleep for your 365th day on earth, and while I did, I thanked you for giving me the best year of my entire life.  I also picked out some bits of mashed potatoes and avocado from your hair, and a little off your ear.  I love you my sweet lil friend :)

Love Mommy

Promises

Dear Jameson,

My promise to you..

I'm realizing over this past year, that I'm not superwoman.  I'm human, and sometimes even when I'm trying to do everything right, I second guess myself all the time.  Your life, luckily is very simple.  You, on the other hand are the most complex creature I know.  I want to make you a few promises, for our lives ahead.. the way I try to live with you every day, and sometimes need reminders to do so.

I promise to always encourage you before I scold you.
I promise that when I've had a long day, to find just a little more energy for one more game of hide and seek around the house.
I promise I will teach you that my face is full of smiles, kisses and laughter, and not anger or frustration.
I promise you that when I'm frustrated, I'll think of what I can learn about the situation, and what I can help teach you.
I promise to love you as much as you deserve, probably more than you want, and for as long as I'm alive.
I promise I'll hug you more than you want me to, too.  Get used to it.
I promise I will always protect you and keep you safe, as best as I'm able.
I promise to live with you, and not for you.
I promise to be patient with you, even when I don't feel like being very patient.
I promise to hold you for as long as you'll let me, and maybe a little longer than that.
I promise I will always be your biggest cheerleader, probably embarrassingly so.
I promise to make your home safe and comfortable, and your food nourishing and tasty.
I promise to teach you how to be a good boy, and a good man.
I promise to respect you, and your individuality.  You sure are a character!
I promise to show you how important family is, and how relationships in families need to be nurtured and cherished.
I promise to comfort you, and teach you ways to comfort yourself.  For now, hugs, kisses and a rocking chair will do.
I promise to love you forever, unconditionally, no matter what.  Pinky promise!

You have taught me how important life is, and a life well lived.  You fill up my heart, you have the biggest smile ever.  You make me such a better person, and I promise I'll return the favor if you let me.

I love you!

Love, Mommy

11 months!

Dear Jameson,

Hi my beautiful boy!
You have just grown by leaps and bounds!
You have started walking.. what started as a few tenuous steps has turned into walking all the time, everywhere! Of course you're still a super speedy crawler, and it gets you where you need to go very fast but you're always standing up (with no support) and taking lots of steps!

You say "hi" all the time, and wave.  You clap.  You do this funny headbanging thing when you're excited or to music.  You say "ruff" at dogs and other animals and almost 'quack' or something as another sound.

You're still not eating much in terms of solids, we've started making high calorie bottles (extra powder) to get you all the nutrition you need.  You do like to chew on food and play with it in your mouth, we've tried everything!  You love salty things, and fruit.  You do love avocado and guacamole (good choice!).  You still love drinking ice water, and you do really well from a cup all by yourself!

We're planning your first birthday party.  Don't even get me started about the emotional mess it's causing in me.  I cannot believe you're almost a year!  We're doing an animal theme, Oma is making your cake and we're having lots of balloons and toys.

We've taken you to Toys R Us a few times, you're so cute.. I just want to buy up the whole store! (we practically have!).

You are sleeping really well, and actually have put yourself to sleep for naps a few times.  You sleep through the night a lot, but sometimes wake up needing us, and that's ok.

You do love the TV, which is helpful when mommy is busy, but we're trying to keep it off more and more so you find other things to do, you always find ways to entertain yourself!

You babble a lot, you have your own little language that I can't quite get, but I'm waiting to identify some of your words.  I'm sure you're sick of me not understanding all those sounds you make!

You were a tiger for Halloween, but you also had your first cold which really sucked.  You were so adorable in your costume (even covered in puke!), we went to Papa's for brunch and then later handed out candy to trick-or-treaters.  You loved seeing the kids but I don't think you liked that they went away after we gave them candy.

You had your first haircut last weekend, oh my gosh you look so cute!  You really do look like a little boy, which you have for a while but this really sealed the deal.  You did such a good job, the place we went to is for kids and they were so nice to you.  After that we went to the party store, and you had so much fun, all the balloons and toys and shiny things!

You have started kind of giving kisses, granted it seems like you're trying to taste us, but it's sooo sweet!!
Well time for me to go and get the house cleaned up for your arrival back from your overnight with Oma and Opa!

I love you my little munchkin!! You make every day seem like Santa came, I can't wait to see you and melt from your smile, and laugh at your little Jameson antics.

Love, Mommy

10 months!

Dear Jameson,

You're 10 and a half months old today.. and boy are you just growing and developing like crazy!
I'm at work so I have to make this quick.. but wanted to make sure to talk about some things going on lately.
You haven't been sleeping that great lately.  You now have been getting up around 10, then again in the middle of the night, and you want to STAY up for like 2 hours in that early morning wake!  It drives me crazy.. I mean I love every moment with you but come on now.. we need to sleep a little to survive our days too!
You are a pointing machine.. you lean and point to places you want to go if you're being held, or if you're crawling or standing you point to things, people etc.  
You were waving for a while but kind of stopped doing that.
You've clapped your hands together a few times, it's so cute.. your hands are all floppy.
You say Hi, and Dada, Daddy, and Mama.  I swear you said doggie once, and Oma and Opa say you said "wow" to them about a fluffy dandelion being blown away into the wind.
You love your shadow, you have for a very long time.
You like trees and wind.. you LOVE water, always have.
You really do know your family, and your dogs.
We mailed invitations to your first birthday, there are jungle animals on them.  I cannot believe we both survived this year (just kidding, love).  I can't believe it's almost been a year since I met you!
You still don't really like solids, but we keep on trying, and we will until you eat them!
You have an appointment with the Feeding Clinic on 1/18/11, that's so far away, i'm sure you'll figure it out by then.
You crawl like a pro, you're so fast!  And we can hear you coming, you crawl kind of hard or something.
You screech and giggle, you have tons of your own words.. you lay in bed and talk to yourself a lot in the mornings (or at 3am).
You've started to purposely cuddle, and lay your head down on my shoulder like a big hug.. it's the best thing ever! 
You have 2 teeth now, the next will be your 2 top ones.  You did a great job with teething, I didn't even know you were!  What a champ!
You still like your gym class, and you like to take toys from other babies.  We might want to work on that someday.
You crawl all over the house, and like to explore.. we need to keep an eye on you, but you have a blast just cruising around exploring everything around.
You are SO obedient!  (for now.)  If I tell you no, or say "uh uh!", you STOP what you're doing and look at me, and often you just go do something else.. or you try whatever it was again, just to be sure you're really not supposed to be doing it lol.. you're so smart, and so silly.  But, I wouldn't tell you no unless it was something that could hurt you, and like I tell you EVERY single night when I put you to bed.. I love you, and I will protect you and keep you safe for as long as I can.  That is a promise.

Love you sweetheart!!

Love, Mommy

Almost 10 months!

Dear Jameson,

Good morning my love!
You did not sleep very well last night, but guess what, you're finally TEETHING!
Though I hate that you're bothered a little by it (actually you don't seem bothered that much!), it's so exciting that you're crossing over yet another milestone!  Course it also makes me sad a little that you're about to lose your gummy smiles, for good.  But I'm sure your toothy smiles will be just as beautiful as ever!
Lets see.. what else.  You've mastered the art of crawling, a few bumps and faceplants along the way and now you like to pull up and stand by anything you can possibly get yourself up on.  Soon, you'll try to 'cruise' from one thing to another, and then.. walk.  You're so ready, your body just needs to cooperate for you!
One of your favorite things to do is to crawl over by the glass door to the back yard, and 'stand' on your knees and talk to the dogs.
You're FAST! I can't turn around for more than a few seconds and you're somewhere else getting into something new.  We've baby proofed pretty good, but you still manage to find things to get into or try to do that send me into a little panic!  I suppose this is just the start of feeling that way, the more independent you get.
You're still having trouble eating solid foods.. you hate them.  And you choke and gag on table foods.  We are actually going to see a feeding/swallowing clinic to make sure everything's ok in there.
You had your 9 month appt on 9/14 and you weighed 19 lb 2 oz and you are 28 3/4 inches tall!  You got your flu shot and your last (I think) Hep B shot.  We'll bring you back in for your flu boosted next month.  Oh how I hate when you get shots :(
Your grandma and grandpa Katz just left from visiting us, they of course think you are just the cutest baby ever, and already miss you a ton.
You are sleeping pretty good.. same ol same ol (other than last night!), you wake once, eat a little, and sleep again usually til around 6:30, which is nice.
You understand a LOT of words, no, Kyla and Sebastian, Mommy and Daddy, tree, car, hungry, water.. and probably a ton more that I haven't even caught yet.  You've known your name for months now.  Smarty pants!
Dr. Frand told the intern at your appointment that you're not a typical 9 month old, you're way better developed and more social than that.  He said you're doing amazing, and perfect, and of course I beamed, and agreed.
You're so sweet, of course.. and so funny.  You're in a good mood pretty much all the time, until you're really tired or hungry, and even then you try so hard to be smiley and happy.
I still rock you to sleep for bed and naps, which I guess I shouldn't do so that you learn to fall asleep on your own, but I'm just not willing to give it up yet.  There will be a day where I'll wish I had rocked you a little longer, one more time.. so for now, and I guess it's selfish, I rock you.  It's the best feeling in the entire universe, we have very good conversations while I rock you, and you whisper to me and smile and giggle as you drift off to sleep.  So precious!
Well it's almost time for me to get ready for work, but just wanted to update you on how things are going today.  As much as you need your sleep, I wish you'd wake up so I can play with you and hold you.

I love you, baby!  You're my favorite thing in the whole wide universe!

Love, Mommy

Almost 9 months!

Dear Jameson,

Good morning my love!
You slept all night, from 8 til 5 and now you're playing in your crib.
You're almost 9 months now!
You're crawling, pretty well..but mostly prefer to army crawl REALLY well.
You still love to stand and hop, and if we hold your hands you'll take steps all by yourself.
You are able to sit up from laying down, and I often find you that way in your crib when you're playing.
You make a lot of sounds.  Sometimes you babble with mamamama and dadada and yayaya, you still say your HI sound and YEAH sound.  You blow raspberries a lot.
You still hate puree foods, you seal your little mouth shut after the first bite.  I thought you really liked bananas because you did actually keep opening your mouth for bites, but the next time I tried it, nope!
You seem like you'd love to eat 'real' food, but you aren't quite ready yet.  You choke/gag and sometimes throw up when you get a TINY piece.  You don't chew very well, or you don't know how to yet I guess.
Just yesterday I started making you 8 oz bottles and you drink the whole thing!
You are napping really well, usually 2 really long naps a day, maybe one other little nap usually in the morning.
You giggle a lot, and screech and squeal.. still no big belly laughs.
You don't have any little teeth yet..
You're very attached to the people you love, and of course you still really love the dogs.. they bring a smile to your face when nothing else seems to work.
You are really obsessed with specks on the floor (or wherever) and you use your pointer finger to try to get things you see.  You're working on the 'pincer' grasp, your thumb isn't quite cooperating yet, but almost!
When you crawl you seem to want everything you shouldn't have.. cords, specks of dirt, strings on the carpet.
You love to hit me in the face with your pacifier, or your hands.  sometimes you use your little pointer finger to touch my face and then SCRATCH me, it hurts!  I'm trying to teach you to be gentle, but I have to be gentle too, because it scares you and makes you cry if I am not careful when I tell you no.  Redirection and distraction are way better at this point than trying to teach you right from wrong.. you're too little for that yet.

In 2 days, Mommy and Daddy are going on a trip really far away, to Italy for your Aunt Rachel's wedding.
While I've been excited about the trip, which should be fabulous.. it's daunting to me to have to be away from you for that long, 9 days!  The only other time I have been away from you was when you were only 8 days old and I had to go to the hospital for a few days.  And I think the only other time I went a whole day/night without seeing you was when I had my gallbladder taken out in March.

I'm going to miss you so much.  You are so precious to me, and you make every single day such a pleasure.  We have so much fun, you're my little pal.  I take you with me to lots of places now.  We go on walks pretty much every day in your stroller.  I still rock you to sleep, and for naps.. and I hold you a lot.  My arms are going to feel so empty without you to grab up and love on.  There's no better feeling in this world, than when I'm holding you and we're rocking.. and you're smiling and talking to me before you drift off to sleep.  You smile so easy, and when you smile.. you smile with your entire body it seems.  Your eyes light up and everything at that moment is perfect in the world.

I love you my little baby-son..  You are everything that is wonderful and perfect in my life, and I try my best to make you feel the same about me.

Love, Mommy

Almost 8 months

Dear Jameson,

You're bouncing around in your 'exersaucer' right now screeching at the TV so I figured I'd write a little about you.
You're sleeping ok, you went a while where you would wake at 2, 3, 4am and think it was party time!  It was really hard to get you back to sleep.  You slept through the night (til 4:30ish) a few nights after we switched you to big boy jammies, but you haven't since.  Now you wake up at 1 almost on the dot, for a bottle, or because you're soaked thru your jammies.  You sleep until around 6 if we're lucky, sometimes 5:30, and you go to bed around  7:30.
You are just a little character, I can't even write about all the things you do now, there's so many! 
You're army crawling around a little, rolling a lot. 
Talking a TON, still screeching.. last week you started doing funny things with your tongue and mouth, and saying dadadadada.. I'm not taking it personally :)
You are still in love with the dogs, they are the best part of your day I think!
You HATE pureed baby food, but you choke on finger foods.. still trying to figure out what to do about that.
You love to sit outside, or stand outside rather.. I'm sure it's just amazing to you to hear so many things, and look at so many different things.  It's been pretty hot out, so we don't go out all that much, but usually about once a day we do something.
You sit in a regular high chair at restaurants, you seem to like it but you want our food!  One day baby :)
You also can sit in a regular cart at grocery stores, you love that!  And you sit in the big boy part of the stroller now, instead of staying in your car seat.
You don't have a doctors appointment until 9 months, so I don't really know how big you are, but I know you're getting heavy!!
Your Nana (Daddy's mommy) is in town now, you saw her yesterday for the first time in a long time, at your Aunt Rachel's shower.
We went to Papa's birthday celebration at the place he's living now.  They had a singer, and you just loved watching him and listening to the music, and dancing with Oma, and visiting the people that live there.
You're just so fun.. and you're funny!  And you know you are! lol.
Ok, I better go grab you up.. not because you really need me to, but because I want to.. it wont be long until I can't just swoop you up into my arms and hold you if I feel like it, so I'm trying to get lots of time in now.
I love you sweetie pie, you're the light in my life.
Love, Mommy

Dear Jameson,

Just a quick note to tell you how much I love you.  Not that I don't already tell you enough!
My shirt is still a little wet from your dribble, you ate about 6 ounces before I put you to bed. 
You fell asleep with your fingers tangled in my hair, and humming to me as I sang to you, it is just the sweetest thing ever.
We had a good day today, as we always do.  You had your gym class, and played here at home in your bouncy thing, and on the floor, and in your crib.
You're becoming more and more independent, I have to admit it kind of freaks me out!  You need me for comfort, food, and to be clean.. and more and more you don't need me for a lot of other things, like playing, and napping.
Obviously you still need me, and will for a VERY long time (hopefully longer than shorter!), but even these little flickers of independence scare me, but of course at the same time make me proud that you're growing into such a self sufficient little boy all on your own.
Before I laid you down for bed tonight, I thought about how it's been 7 months since you were born, and it's gone by in what seems like the blink of an eye.. and then I thought about how double 7 months means you'd be 14 months, walking.  No longer needing me for locomotion, and probably by then not even needing me for bed time, or to feed you.  How am I going to let go?  Probably just one little breath at a time, I guess that's all we have.
I love you sweet boy, and I try so hard to treasure every single second I have with you.. so please be patient if I want to hold you a little longer than you'd like, or if I play with you a little more than you'd prefer, or if sometimes I just interrupt your alone time by swooping you up into my arms, to kiss your cheeks, and smell your sweet baby hair for a few minutes.
I love you!

Love, Mommy

7 months!

Dear Jameson,

You are getting SO big I can't believe it!  You were 16.2lb at your 6month appointment, and yesterday when I took you in you were 17lb 6oz!
I took you to the doctor because you seem to have some trouble eating, and throwing up.  He said that it's reflux and gave us some medicine that you don't like very much (Zantac).  We also changed your formula, which seems to stay down better!
You've been eating solids here and there for a little more than a month, some you like, some you don't.. but overall I don't think you're really a fan.
You now sleep without your swaddle, which is kind of hit or miss.  Sometimes you sleep really well,but you haven't slept thru the night since we took away the swaddle.  I have tried everything.. lavendar lotion before bed, helping you attach to a stuffed animal (cookie monster), white noise from the humidifier, darkened room.. but I just think you still need us sometimes, and that's ok.
You do take most of your naps in your crib now, which is somewhat new! 
You sit up pretty well without much support, sometimes you topple over but it doesn't seem to bother you.
I signed you up for a class at My Gym, and I think you have a lot of fun!  It's a great way for us to have some good quality time together away from home, and you get to see other people and babies.
I still sing twinkle twinkle to you every night before bed, and Brahms Lullaby.  Sometimes I throw in "This Little Boy of Mine" or other songs, but those two have always been the ones I sing, or hum.  I think my humming voice is better.
We also got a video monitor to watch you when we're not by you.  It's nice, but I find myself watching it constantly!
We have taken you to the pool a couple of times.  You like it, but I really think what you like is watching all the people.
You go out more and more in the world, usually you're out to the store, or something and you love to look around and giggle when I make faces at you while I'm pushing you through the store.  I'm sure people think I'm silly, but I don't care.. as long as you're smiling I'd probably do anything!
I can't even believe how fast time has gone.. as long as the days sometimes seem, all the sudden you're another month old.  I know that I'll be saying the same thing with the years.  It terrifies me, but I just love getting to know you as you grow and develop.
You're a cuddlebug, and a mama's boy, and I hope you never stop being either one of those.
You're starting to really know people in your life, and notice when there's someone you don't know around.  You reach for the people you love, and it's just so sweet.  You have a different relationship with each one of us!
Daddy buys you a LOT of toys, you think he is a lot of fun to play with!  You're his buddy, he takes you everywhere on his days with you.  You go with him to run errands, to get sushi, pick out toys.  At this rate we'll need a huge toy box!
Opa makes a lot of funny faces and noises with you, I think you've learned most of your hundreds of noises by playing with him.  Today when he came over to watch you, you almost leaped out of my arms to go to him, it was so cute!
Oma is like another mommy to you.  You love walking around with her, exploring the house, and dancing with her.  She holds and cuddles you a lot, and you just love it.
Papa is also someone that you get so excited to visit with.  He makes faces and sounds to you and you just grin from ear to ear, always have.
A lot of your family is out of state, and they get updates when they can.  Sometimes we use a video chat program called Skype, so that helps keep us connected.
Our relationship evolves constantly.  I'm mommy, of course.  You look to me for comfort, by way of napping, rocking, food, bathing and such.  You watch what I'm doing constantly, but I do the same with you.  It almost feels like you're still an extension of me, we're very connected.  I love you so much, I never even knew I could love this deeply.
I love you baby!  You are the most precious thing in my life.

Love, Mommy

Half a year!

Dear Jameson,

I cannot believe you are 6 months old today.. I know I keep saying "I can't believe..." but seriously!!

You are the biggest blessing in SO many lives right now, I can't wait til you can truly know how loved you are, though I doubt you ever really will.

Your smile seriously melts anyone who looks at you, that's going to probably really work in your favor for most of your life.

Sometimes when I'm rocking you and you wake up, you whisper secrets in your little baby words to me.  I whisper them back, you probably think I'm silly, but it's just the sweetest thing.  Especially when you're mad at me for swaddling you and rocking you to bed, sometimes you just spontaniously start whoooing or making your trilling noises and smiling at me, like "Mama, it's ok, I know you have to put me to sleep". 

You are SO happy anymore.  Not that you weren't, but you were pretty fussy a lot of the time and you suddenty turned some corner in your little life where most things make you happy.  You love to go out, you love to play in your crib, you love to be outside, and even sometimes just love to lay on the floor or playmat and squeak and hoot.  Your happiness is pretty much my only goal in life, well that and your safety.

Updates in terms of your development
You make tons of different sounds, the trill in the back of your throat, the tight lipped elephant noise being my two favorites, but my all time fave is your 'whooo'ing that you do first thing in the morning when you wake up.. you lay there and just whoooo very softly for about 30 minutes looking at your toys, the way the sun hits the side of your crib.. it's so adorable, like this little private conversation you're having with your toys, or with your new day. 
You're eating a ton, and sleeping ok.  We're trying to break you from the swaddle but always give in to just swaddling you.  While you love to sleep with your hands free, you wake yourself up sometimes.  We're going to try again tonight probably.
You have eaten green beans, peas, sweet potatoes and carrots.  I let you suck on a pickle too, which you loved.. probably not the best thing for you though.
You're ALMOST sitting up, you can sit, but you fall forward.
You can finally flip from your belly to back, you're a pro at back to belly but you were always getting stuck.  Now you don't.. just one more lil piece of independence you've gained.  One more thing you don't need my help with..
You love to stand and shout orders, at least that's what it sounds like.  Usually shouting or squeaking at the dogs.
You're wearing 9 month old clothes, or 6-9 month.  Pajamas at night, and a onesie or a romper during the day.  I was putting socks on you all the time but I think you like it when you're barefoot.

I love you Jameson, you're the light in my life and truly my purpose in being.

Love, Mommy

What a great day!

Dear Jameson,

We had a wonderful day yesterday!  Every day is wonderful with you, but yesterday and the day before were especially fabulous!

I think you're finally learning to love your world.  It's still small, but growing all the time.  We take you more places now and you really seem to enjoy it instead of just tolerating it.  Yesterday you didn't fuss at all, all day.

Let's see.. what did we do..

• You had some green beans, and you drank some water from my big ice water glass which you love to do.
• We sat outside and heard a train and some birds chirping, and you were facinated by the shadows on the ground that we were making as we sat there.
• You tried pretty hard to get on your hands and knees, it was cute, but you were just mad you were on your tummy, you get stuck on your tummy all the time.  You'll figure out how to flip over at some point..
• You went with me and Daddy to the mall for lunch, and you did NOT like going to the Pet Store like I thought you would.  I think you hated all the noise, and it was pretty stinky there too.
• You still love to screech, and giggle.  Sometimes your screeches scare the dogs, especially Sebastian.  I don't think he's too sure of you quite yet, but you sure do love Kyla, and she loves you.  Last night before I put you to bed you were standing on my lap just screeching and talking to them, like you were telling them a long story.. I was laughing so hard.
• We also went to the baby store to get your more pacifiers, some food, and some new level 3 nipples.  You did great!  You were hooting the whole car ride back, I decided to take you to the park and walk around and get a little exercise.. and you loved it!
• I read you a bunch of books too.. I'm not sure how much you like them really, you just want to grab them, or look at me funny trying to figure out what I'm talking about.
• You love to grab your feet and eat your toes.  You suck on your fingers all the time, especially when you get excited, you really quick bring your hand to your mouth because you're so excited about something, it's so funny.
• We're trying to break you of the swaddle.. so far that's not working very well.  We'll keep trying though.  You are so cute, you like to sleep on your side.  One of these nights I know I'll find you on your tummy, but that's ok, you're big and strong enough now to not smother yourself.
• In the mornings when you wake up, you lay in bed and hoot and squeal.. for like 30 minutes all by yourself!  I let you just hang out while I get my coffee and get your bottle ready.  I get so excited to see you though it's hard to just wait a while.. but I like that you can entertain yourself, for times when I can't be there.

Well I'm typing this at work, and I have to get back to work.  I wish I wrote more often but you keep me very very busy!  I promise not to forget too much, darlin!
I'm so completely in love with you, baby!
Love, Mommy

Mother's Day, 2010

Dear Jameson,

Hi lil bugga!  We had a wonderful Mother's Day together.  Last year at this time I celebrated being a mom, but you were still in my tummy.. this year I got to hold you and thank you over and over for making me a mommy.  You are such a gift .. you enhance my life in ways I never even thought of.

Daddy has been in Florida for a couple of days, he misses you a lot, but he will be back tomorrow night to hug you and kiss you before you go to sleep for the night.

You constantly make new sounds, some are SO loud, but you still have your soft little bird voice.  You 'whooo' a lot, when you're in your crib.  Often in the mornings right when you wake up, you just whooo and whooo for a long time.

You absolutely adore the doggies, Kyla especially, but also Sebastian.  You like to pet them but you sometimes grab their fur, so I make sure you don't pull it too hard, we don't want them to get upset with you.

You also adore your Uncle Jon.. all day today you just lit up like a little Christmas Tree every time you saw him.  It's so cute!

You started saying a word that sounds like "Hi".. though I don't think it's entirely thought out.

You roll from your back to your tummy.. a lot.  But you haven't figured out how to flip back over to your back (you don't like to stay on your tummy for very long), so you start to fuss after a while.  Then I flip you back, and you flip again.  You like to lay on the floor to play for a little bit, and sometimes on your 'Whale' play mat in Mommy and Daddy's room.  You LOVE our room, every time I bring you in there you squeak or coo. 

We have a lot of time, just you and I.  I put you to bed every night, usually around 9, and then Daddy and I trade off for your middle of the night wake (around 2 or 3am), and then I get up with you when you're up for the day at around 6, 6:30.

Your killer smile is the best thing I have ever seen.  I think my favorite smile from you is when I go in to say hi to you in the morning when you wake up, and I undo your swaddle (if you haven't already) and you stretch and smile.. you're all sleepy and warm.  I scoop you up into my arms and cuddle you for a while as you wake up.  It's just so sweet.

I admire your honesty.  The purity of your emotions is something that is just beautiful to observe.  If you're happy, you show it.  If you are feeling loving, you show it.  If you're upset, you show it.  There's no guessing, you tell everyone exactly how you feel every moment of the day.  I think it's wonderful.

Before I finish this up and run to bed for the night (until you wake me up) I just wanted to thank you.  Of course I thank you for being you, for being so sweet and so free spirited, but mostly today I want to thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy.  I have no idea what I've done in life to be so blessed by you, but I am thankful every single moment of every single day.  I promise I will do my best to thank you by my actions of loving you deeply, teaching about the world, showing you the way as you become independent, and kissing any bumps and bruises along the way.

Thank you so much for making me your Mommy.  I love you more than I'll ever be able to tell you.

Love, Mommy

So many new things!

Dear Jameson,

Once again it's been way too long since I posted a note here about you. 
You change so much every day it seems!
Let's see.. in the past month or so you've started a new squeak, almost a laugh/squeal and it is so adorable!
We started you on cereal, but that did NOT agree with you and it made you have a miserable couple of days, I felt so bad.. but I think you're over that now thank goodness.  We'll wait to start veggies at 6 months and see how you do.
For some reason you still don't like to eat that much, we have to rock you to sleep and then stick the bottle in your mouth to get you to eat!  Other than in the middle of the night, you'll gulp down a bottle really quick.
You're sleeping great.  Though you have slept all the way through the night probably half a dozen times, you do get up once usually to eat and be changed, and then you sleep all the way until around 6:30 or 7.  I put you to bed at around 9, it's my favorite time of day usually.. I spend a lot of time with you during our 'bedtime' rocking/singing/reading/feeding.  You're so precious.
You really love the dogs, especially Kyla.  You smile and smile at her, even though she doesn't smile back.  She does kiss your hands though if I let her.  You seem to like it!
You're reaching for everything, last Thursday you reached for me when Oma was holding you, it was so sweet.
Today I gave you some prunes (baby food), you like to eat like a big boy.. your bottles are only necessary, not pleasurable really.
You still love a lot of the same things you always have, tickling your face and head to help you to sleep, you love when I hum or sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
You've had a few baths in the 'big' bathtub, and you just love it.. you love water, you love splashing in it, drinking it from a spoon, listening to it at the sink.
Our days together go so quickly.  You're rolling over both ways now, but it's easier for you to go from your back to your tummy.
Just this past weekend you started making a new raspberries type sound, it makes me laugh but then my laugh scares you, so I try to laugh quiet.  That's hard because you seem to LOVE to make people laugh with your little faces and sounds.
I think I hear you waking from your nap, and the mailman just came.  You love outside, so we'll go get the mail together.
I'll write more another time, you're such a busy guy, which means I'm a very busy mommy!
I love you sweetheart!!

Love, Mommy

Roly Poly!

Finally caught you on camera, flopping from tummy to back.  So proud of you, pumpkin!!

3/25/10

Dear Jameson,

One year ago today, Daddy told me that I had a positive pregnancy test, hence the title of this blog "Oh honey, there's a line!"..

I just wanted to thank you for making my life more wonderful than I ever dreamed, my heart more full than I thought was possible, and my entire being humbled by your mere existence.

You are amazing..enchanting..a living miracle

I love you so very much... how in the world did I get this lucky??

Thank you for choosing me as your mommy, I promise I wont ever let you down.

Love,  Mommy

Before I Was a Mom

I stole this.. not sure who the author is.. but it's awesome :)

Before I was a Mom


I made and ate hot meals.

I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.



Before I was a Mom

I slept as late as I wanted

And never worried about how late

I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.



Before I was a Mom,

I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys

or forgot words to lullabies.



Before I was a Mom,

I didn't worry whether or not my

plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.



Before I was a Mom,

I had never been pooped on,

Spit up on,

Chewed on,

Peed on,

Or pinched by tiny fingers.



Before I was a Mom,

I had complete control of myself;

My thoughts,

My body,

And my mind.

I slept all night.



Before I was a Mom,

I never held down a screaming child

so that doctors could do tests or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.



Before I was a Mom,

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't

want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew something so small could affect my

life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.



Before I was a Mom,

I didn't know the feeling of having my

heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a

Mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important.



Before I was a Mom,

I had never gotten up in the middle of

the night every ten minutes to make

sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

The joy,

The love,

The heartache,

The wonderfulment,

Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.



I didn't know I was capable of feeling so

much before I was a Mom.

Three and a half months!

Dear Jameson,

Amazingly enough, mommy is in the hospital AGAIN! Nothing major, I had to have a little procedure done so my tummy feels better.

You are three and a half months old now, I keep saying this but 'I can't believe it!'.

You are always smiling and talking, and sometimes you're a little fuss monster and you like to cry for what you want. A lot of times you like to be held, and I wont deny you that! You're so cuddly and sweet. You do this funny sound in the back of your throat, almost like throat 'raspberries', and sometimes you like to play with your tongue. You have also started to fake cough and suck air in like you're surprised.. it's so funny, at least you think it is!!  The words you use are 'ah ga' and 'ah gee', but also oooo or woooo, and a few odd shrieks like you're imitating a bird or something.. you're getting louder!

Your favorite toy seems to be your crab that Uncle Randy and Aunt Carol brought you from Maryland. It has a bunch of legs to chew on and is easy to grab and he's red, which seems to be a favorite of yours! You do also hit toys to make them make noise or to try to touch them. You were even hitting me in the face over and over, but your Oma put it in perspective for me, she said that you're probably just trying to touch things that you see, but you have really bad aim so you just 'bat' at them.

You have been sleeping SO well! It's not uncommon for you to sleep from 9ish til around 4 or 5, sometimes even later! Such a big boy.. Speaking of big boy, you're wearing 3-6 month old size clothes now. Your hair lightened a little but it's still brown with a bit of copper in it, and your beautiful eyes are still the blueish they were when you were born, but with this really cool light ring around the middle, I think you're going to have your Daddy's eyes in terms of color, they are hazel like mommy's but really light.

You drink about 4 oz every time you're fed, after your 8 week appointment we switched formulas and started a new one, and you love it! Seems to be much better for you.

You are adorable, of course. You are so sweet, and you are such a little love bug.. your smile has to be the best thing I have ever seen in my life, just like everything else about you. I am so excited to learn more about you as you grow, just promise not to do it too fast!!

I love you!

Love, Mommy

Learning Curve

Being a first time mom.. I have found that I have a lot to learn, and a lot to accept in my new life.
So far, a few things I have learned:

• 
  A “quick shower” often results in only one armpit getting shaved.


• 
  A “quick shower” also often results in shampoo not thoroughly rinsed out, if shampooing is even remembered.


• 
  Drying off after said shower is done at lightening pace, and I’m sure if filmed I would only be a blur.


• 
  Lotion only goes in the necessary quick spots, which has left my hands and legs awfully dry some days.


• 
  Putting on makeup should not be done quickly in low lighting. Either take the time to do it, or don’t do it at all… trust me.


• 
  Working out has to be defined some days by the constant lifting of baby, running to and fro trying to get things done during 5 minute baby catnaps, and getting up and down from a sitting position because baby squeaks every few seconds.


• 
  If I make it to the treadmill, I have learned to work out in 5 minute increments. It adds up right?


• 
  Grocery shopping sans baby must be done with purpose and not leisure usually. That’s been a hard one for me.. I love to grocery shop. Now I am buying necessities, and quickly.


• 
  I often forget necessary ingredients for recipes I plan to make. Like bananas for banana bread, chicken for fried chicken.. things like that.


• 
  Sleep is only done in few hour increments, if at all. That’s just a fact, it sucks, but I had to get over it. Sometimes those middle of the night feedings and changings of baby are the best ‘quiet’ bonding time ever, and once I can see straight and the sleep leaves me awake enough to do my job, I love every moment.


• 
  Eating is done grazing style. I should not keep M&Ms and peanuts around, or Cheetos. They are too easy, and evil for my post pregnancy body.


• 
  Feeding baby can be meditative and relaxing. Until he swallows an air bubble, gets mad, and tries to skin me alive with his tiny baby talons.


• 
  Everything that used to take me 5 minutes to accomplish, now takes me 30.


• 
  Talking on the phone is impossible.


• 
  Babies are psychic. He knows exactly when to fuss (see phone talking point above), but also know exactly when to smile to warm me up again after fussing.


• 
  Google is not my friend when it comes to health concerns about baby. Call the pediatrician.


• 
  Baby will not decide to sit and eat an entire bottle until I am in a rush and assume he only wants a ‘snack’.


• 
  After trying all morning to get baby to nap, once he does, I miss him and wish he was awake.


• 
  I am learning the intensity of the definition of “Guardian”. Do not mess with my baby, or I will turn into the most vicious mama bear imaginable.


• 
  I had absolutely no idea how much love I could feel in life, until now.


• 
  I also had absolutely no idea that I could survive quite well on little sleep, hydration or nutrition.


• 
  Taking pictures is a new obsession, I’m terrified of missing moments. I’m not sure baby recognizes me without a camera in front of my face. I’m learning to put it down, and keep the moments in my mind instead of on digital ‘film’.


• 
  A full REM cycle is on average 118 minutes. If I get at least that much sleep in a row between feedings, I feel like I’m accomplishing something.


• 
  Most any task in life can be done with one hand. Maybe not perfect, but it can be done.


• 
  It took me almost 3 hours to type this..
  And that’s ok.

Just a little longer..

Dear Jameson,

Some people have already asked me what my favorite thing about being a mother is.. I never know how to answer that. There's so much.. the unbelievable love I never thought was possible, your smile.. your angelic perfection.. the amazing feeling of being needed so much, blessed that you chose me as your mommy. But I think today, my favorite part of being a mother is being able to rock you. I know that sounds simple, and it is.. but it's beautiful.

When I rock you and you drift off to sleep, the entire universe around me stops. Just for you and me!

With my arms around you holding you safe, my lips on your tiny forehead giving you kisses, my nose buried into your feather hair, drowning in your sweet baby Jameson smell.. nothing is better.

I hum to you the whole time. I make up the songs, they just come to me. They're created for you I guess, somewhere in my mind.. little songs for little tiny you.

Your chest and belly against mine, your legs folded up like a little frog.. feeling your breath, hearing your little angel sighs.. I think this is what heaven must feel like.

Sometimes Daddy tells me that you're asleep, and why don't I put you to bed.. I don't think he can understand this little moment sometimes, and that's ok. So I just tell him, "Just a little longer.."

Just a little longer.. just a little longer..

Love, Mommy

Dear Jameson,

I can't believe I haven't written to you in 3 weeks! You are so amazing, and every moment with you is wonderful, but it just flies by.. I treasure all of our moments together.

Daddy went back to work last weekend, so we've had lots of time together, and it's been beautiful!

I think last time I wrote you had started cooing a little. You have a beautiful little voice. You love to say oooooo and owoooo when you're happy, and then sometimes you babble a little bit now and say all kinds of baby words.

You really seem to be figuring yourself out, little by little. You sleep pretty darn good at night, and during the day you're so sweet and alert. You eat well.. and you seem to snack during the day, and eat in bigger chunks at night (which makes you sleep for a few hours at a time!). Not that you want to know this, but you also have your pooping on a schedule. Every morning when you're up for the day, I put you in your bouncy chair and you poop! Then I clean you up and change your clothes from your nightgown to a cute sleeper with feet and we go about our new day together.

You are smiling a LOT! Only a couple of weeks ago you'd smile, but it was hard to catch and really random, but now you smile all the time. It has to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. You are such a happy baby, and you are so cuddly.

Your silly hair still stands straight up on top like a mohawk, and it's getting lighter and lighter. It's so adorable and fits your personality.

You can be really goofy sometimes, you make the funniest faces! I actually started a photo album just of all the silly faces you make. I'll show you one day and you'll laugh I bet.

You had a visit from your grandparents Ken and Sue (Daddy's Daddy and Stepmommy), they love you so much. You had a lot of fun visiting with them, and it was when they were here that you really started smiling a ton. What a treat they had to see you so happy and smiley and talking all the time! We hope they come back soon, we had a lot of fun with them. When you get a little older we'll go visit them in Florida and you'll see the beach for the first time. One of Mommy's favorite things in the world, and I can't wait to share it with you.

I can't wait to share a LOT of things with you.. you're still so new to this world, and even though it can be scary out there sometimes, there's beautiful things going on all around us. I can't wait to show you animals like the ones painted on your walls, the mountains, lots of sunshine, even rain and snow, big trees, rivers and lakes, clouds.. oh there's so much out there just waiting for you to visit.

You have gone to a few places, mostly to restaurants where Mommy and Daddy eat, a couple of shopping trips, visits to my work and Daddy's work, doctors visits, and of course Oma and Opa's, which is really your second home. They just love you to bits!

You don't like tummy time all that much, but you love it if you're laying on someone, usually Opa or me when I'm watching TV and you're sleeping. You raise your head up a lot, you're very strong. You're also kicking and waving your arms a lot too, just figuring out that little body of yours I think.

When you talk you also like to make a clicking sound with your tongue, I almost forgot to mention that. That's kind of new for you, and of course like everything else you do, totally adorable.

Well I better go tend to you, you're up for the day and awake and getting a tiny bit fussy, just a few little squeaks, but as you've learned, we come running to grab you up and cuddle you, so that's what I'm going to do.. it's the best feeling to hold you close to me, and I really hope you let me hold on to you for as long as possible, that would really make the rest of my life pretty perfect. I hope you never go far away from me, but if you do, that you always come back to me so I can cuddle you if even just for a second during a hug hello. Times like that will come before I know it, so I better go cuddle you now, and give you hundreds of kisses just for being you.

I love you my sweetheart, you are the best thing in life.

Love, Mommy

Week 5

Dear Jameson,

I can't believe you are over one month old! You are such a good boy, and you slept really well last night. Mommy and Daddy gave you a bath, and found that if we burp you more often while you're eating, you eat a lot more, and therefore sleep lots more too! Trust me, when you get more sleep, and we get more sleep, we're all much better for it!

You are becoming more and more interested in your little world. Actually your world is kind of big for a brand new baby. You've been places like the doctor of course, out to eat with us to PF Changs, Mr. Sushi, and IHOP, and of course over to your Oma and Opa's house to visit and spend the night, to give Mommy and Daddy a little break.

Today we're going to go to where I work, so that my coworkers can meet you. I know they'll just adore you, who couldn't?

You are the most adorable baby I have ever seen, I know I'm biased, but seriously.. you're so perfect. Everything from your funny hair, your beautiful big eyes with long lashes, your little bird mouth, and the most adorable legs and tootsies ever.

We took you to Children's Hospital for an ultrasound on your hips on Monday, to make sure that everything is growing ok.. and of course, everything is perfect!

You are such a complex little being.. and at the same time so simple. You only want a few things, to eat, to poopy, to sleep, to be held and talked to.. to be loved. You have brought so much joy and love to everyone you've met, you have no idea. I know you're destined to be one of the best people that the world has ever seen. You already are!

I love you my sweet son.. so very very much. My heart is filled to the brim, and my life is not only completed by you, but so very enhanced by your presence.

Love, Mommy